WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:D shiok. NOW I WANNA PLAY AND WORK.

playtime(:

2 down. 1 more paper to go:)

love is never simple.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!! may u be XING FU forever! you are and will always be:)

finally met up with baby yrst! caught snakes on the plane. DAMN FREAKY i tell u. its disgusting. a little R-A. haha. well, overall not bad lah:)
love.




it will never be the same again.

whatever it takes, i dont care.
when the holiday comes, i'll go crazy!
fuck it.

yup, i'm alright already. i talked to myself. talked to God. talked to baby. talked to anyone i can talk to. and i guess i just needa to control myself. all along i HATE to miss someone. just dislike the feeling. and it suddenly got so strong that it almost broke me down for no reason. haha stupid tt i talked to myself, in another word, make myself happy. (not deceive myself lah! but really make myself happy. i go reflect.) but well, at least now i dont feel as worked up as sunday night. i was ridiculous. damn. i just anyhow threw things in my room. like a mad woman. ok, dont imagine me. sometimes why i dont like to stay at home, the reason is that i will think alot sometimes out of nowhere. not always. but sometimes when nobody is at home? wad can i do? lol. use com? tv? and then..? whatever it is, i just wanna thank baby for every single thing. really every single thing. from the start.

my sis just bought this small book, written by A.R. Bernard. i feel its a very good book. named "HAPPINESS IS...a way of mind, a way of life".
its like got different short topics. i'll pick out a few and type here.

Looking on the Sunny Side:

Cheerfulness is a gift that we give to others and to ourselves. And, as believers who have been saved by a risen Christ, why shouldnt we be cheerful? The answer, of course, is that we have every reason to honour our Saviour with joy in our hearts, smiles on our faces, and words of celebration on our lips.

How cheerful are you? Do you spend most of your day celebrating your life or complaining about it? If you are a big-time celebrator, keep celebrating. But if you have established the bad habit of looking at the hole instead of the donut, it's time to correct your spiritual vision.

Pessimism and doubt are two most important tools that the devil uses to achieve his objectives. Your challenge, of course, is to ensure that the devil cannot use these tools on you. So today, make sure to celebrate the life that God has given to you. Your Creator has blessed you beyond measure. Honor Him with your prayers, your words, your deeds and your joy.

i didnt edit anything. haha. but most importantly, from there, what i wanna point out is.. we gotta think positively. haha. SOMEHOW. we needa do it for OURSELVES. nobody can help us. we can tell friends our problems but nothing can be solved unless we help ourselves. they can only console us and give advices. we do the same for them. and we also know "EASIER SAID THAN DONE", rightt? BUT STILL, somehow, we have to. for ourselves. its all in the mind.

due to time constraint, haha i needa slp, a few others, i'll type another day. i dunno if these are gonna help. but i guess it did helped me. i blogged this actually for lyn and anyone who feels down lately/always. for myself also.

girl, i know i cant help u much. but i can only try to help u change your thinking and listen to you. haha. iloveyou! u gotta be happy! u can do it man! its all in the mind! (if lying on the bed makes u think alot, why not u try talking to God? haha. HE listens. and IF only u believe, the next moment, u'll realised u're happy already! haha. and tt'll be his answer to your prayer. HE talks to us in different ways.)
HUGS(:

i think i'm addicted to him.
i'm too dependant on him.
i dont feel good if i dont see/hear him now.
i'll think quite alot.
exams drawing near.
i got no mood to study AT ALL!
i never felt like this worst before.
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!

sometimes i think i made him quite xingku.
i really dont want! but i dont know what to do myself.
what's the bloody problem with me.
seriously.
WHY NOW?
how the hell did i get so upset? OVER NOTHING? or rather something that i dont know? that's worse.
i wantneed to be HAPPY NOW.
but i dont know how.

:(

OKAY I KNOW ITS DAMN MESSY. GOU RANDOM MAH? HAHAHA. sorry lah, duno why i cannot make align them. lol! just treat it as unique. LOL=x and thankyou everyone. really haha. tho i think the table too long..so abit cannot communicate. hahaha. except the game part lol.

i feel loved(:
and okok i'm not fat. i just got FATTER:(
haha.

benson so sweet. play birthday song on piano then send me lol! thankU!

i realised i didnt take individual photo with jiejie, jeff, sebas, junwei, jianwen and joel. haha anyway here are the rest..










daddy:p







mummy:)








eddy!!! wo ai ni!!! haha. harbourfront.








BABY. lol where are u looking at! LOVEYOU!







sockieeeeee!! wo men de di yi ci. haha







mich=sebas. so is okay i didnt take with him. LOL!







LYN BOOBOO!! forever loveeeeeeeeee.









JACQ JACQ(: (look at my arm. now u noe why i so shocked? plus the pic with mich n sebas.) = sadded.









i like this one. HAHA. HUGHUG(:








BENBEN. haha. thanks for e winnie the pooh+plasters. lol!








YC. the forever wu liao de ren. haha HAPPY CAFE AH. happy can fei-.-










my love.

will you still love me in the morning?

I REALISED I DAMN FAT IN THE PHOTOS!!!
:( damn damn fat. shocked the hell outta me. @#&$*^!

mine n korkor's cake!

thats him(:

happy family!!!

bro's gf not there! lol.








UNO STAKO!!! haha.








only we both playing, the rest karaoke lol!










my birthday! =D







NOW. LOOK AT MY STOMACH. haha. forgot to breathe in. HAHAHAHAHA! chey...............yea. a photo with the sweet couple:)!










thanks baby

4 beauties((((: where is sab!!





feeling GAY! haha.

from sockie's cam, nicer:)

the ultimate. hahaha!! yikes....

13th.
marc & jeff(sis's bf) came over. marc's 1st time to my hse. haha. well, it turned out okay lah. we ordered pizza and let me tell u all wad i ate the whole day. chicken rice, teppanyaki, pizza, blackforest cake, ruffles chips. (all fattening stuff.) lyn, u feel consoled? haha!!! :( then karaoke session and tv. anyway, somehow marc n i bought a shoe bag for korkor, cos seriously dunno what he's in need of. hahaha he richer than me. alot. haha!!

14th.
starting of e day, i dont really feel like its a SPECIAL day to me. so when class 05 people celebrated for me in the morning, i felt a little weird. haha or paiseh? but still, i feel very loved lah!!! all my friends so sweet one. even the guys. hahahaha. met marc at ard 2plus. ate char kway teow at parkway cos i feel like eating. (die la, all e fat stuff these days.) nicee!! haha. then to lido for movie. "CLICK" the show damn touching. cried like.......and i got no tissue. haha AND baby cried too. lol!! i caught him! haha. the show is seriously nice:)
funny moments happened in the train. lol! we just kept fighting. "small action fights" haha. and i think i accidentally pinched him quite hard=x nvm, he guy. must be a MAN! haha!!! then for a moment he wasnt holding on to anything then the train jerked, he almost fall then i faster grab him when he also grab hold of me and u noe what he said? "dont worry, i got you." HAHAHAHA felt like slapping him at e moment. hes the one going to fall, still say he caught hold of me.
ok then went to meet the usuals, eddy, ps, jw, jw and joel. haha. THANKYOU ALL. really. tho eddy quite bad at luring me away so they can get a cake. haha! but still, i feel really loved(: photos tml okieeee!

and thanks to pple who msged&called me. some from quite surprising pple haha. really.

i dont wanna fastforward my life.
i will love you forever and ever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KORKOR!!! ((:
tho u wont come here to see. haha. iloveyou!!! i'm gonna write a letter and get ur present tml morning. lol weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! august RAWKS!

i cannot view my own blog but nevermind. here's smth:)

Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to rule over him
Out of his feet to be trampled on by him
But out of his side to be equal with him
Under his arm to be protected by him
And near his heart to be loved by him.


Life is unfair.
But God is ALWAYS fair.

imissmybaby already!!! *jumps around!

i'll cut it short. this post wasnt meant to be like tt in e 1st place. but since everything's over, i dun wanna waste my time.
In the first place, i dont really care whether you saw the msg cos it isnt for you. which means its none of your business.

what the fuck. if they didnt got tgt, i bet u wouldnt even have asked him back. asshole. and u call that LOVE? woah. *clap*clap*. and worse still, u got wad u want. hurr. awhile u sad like wanna die dun wanna die. now u happy like fuck. CONTRIDICTING QUEEN.

anyway, i didnt get to see baby on tv today. nvm got replay! HEHE. i so gonna watch it. met lyn. after million years, we had fondue:) the choco shiok man. hot hot. hahaha!! and my blood boils until hot too when we talk abt the matter. then met steph, yjia, eug and their friends. OMG. we were supposed to meet at tanah merah. THEN, they were at kallang, eug's father open some sort like a 24hrs cafe(not enclosed). THEN NATIONAL DAY WAD. they cannot get bus lor. then they asked me go over, i said okay. AND BLOODY HELL. i waited for the bus for like AN HOUR??????????? ONE BLOODY BUS. the busstop so many buses, ONLY THAT BUS GO THERE? AND REPEATEDLY OTHER BUSES ONE AFTER ANOTHER COME N GO COME N GO. i like idiot like tt and the crowd made me MORE MAD. i was scolding vulgarities while listening to my ipod la. and i think one uncle heard then he looked at me but tt time i freaking angry so i stared back at him. HAHAHA=x i so bad, sorry uncle. anyway, yea, after an hr, the bus came. fuck. then my friends gave me my first birthday present!!! yeah:)))))) we ate and talk a little. cos all gt sch tml then dun wanna take midnight cab. IN THE END, still take. cos aiya, long story, gt pple stole our cab also. assholes. walao. BAD TRANSPORT DAY LAH!!!! *angry. hahahahaha:(

imissbaby.

my friend sent me a few nice old songs. and i like this:)

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was i mistaken
Do you say, do you say what you mean?
I want our love to last forever

But i'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And i like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was i mistaken
Do you mean, do you mean what you say?
When you say our love could last forever

(chorus)
But i'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(bridge)
You would run around and lead me on forever
While i wait at home still thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

I was believing in you
I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then i would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(chorus)

i dont like what has happened.
it made the girl i love upset.
u oh u.

went for my church's 17th anniversary. it was so good today. so sweet so sweet. haha saw videos and heard stories about chc. i'm amazed. haha. then got baby dedications. all so adorable. all look damn LOST. ahha the face. *o*hahahaa. okay not THAT bad. Pastor Kong is awesome. His wife too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CITY HARVEST (:
i wonder what the world will be like 17 years later. we shall see.

i'm the kuku-iest idiot on earth. i ALL ALONG THOUGHT FOP IN EXPO. actually is in KALLANG INDOOR STADIUM-.-!! almost late lor. was alr waiting for train to go expo haha. lucky sam told me!! (sorry baby.) haha. well..i think i expected too much from it. BUT its still okay la. haha. i think sunday might be the best. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

baby teached me mahjong today. okay, at least i really know more about it already. tho i'm still damn slow la. hahaha!! and he damn ASSHOLE. we played "ER REN MA JIANG" (2players), try try only. then he kept cheating leh. i was like why ur cards all so beautiful one. CANNOT BE! hahaha then he say "walao i cheat so long liao, u nv see leh!!! *shakes head. hahhaa he cheated me like 10 cards???" *slap him. ahahaha!!!

14AUGUST IS AN EXCITING DAY. HAHAHHAA. cool.
with GREAT BIG LOVE,
<3*!

boo.
i hate yours and my timetable. we like always cannot meet up! & i feel sometimes when i needa be there for you..i couldnt. cos i dont know its happening. i'm sorry if u ever feel i'm not there for u. i mean from last time until now.
iloveyou! rem. if u're in a situation & i'm nt there to know, use the technology!! msg or call me!!! haha:) i will try my best to fly to you fast enough!
HUGHUG*
poo.

anyway, its TEN's birthday. haha!! was it benson who wished me "HAPPY advanced BIRTHDAY to TEN?" lol-.- haii. this grp of pple. it didnt last. but those memories still very sweet. the fun, the laughter, the stupid things. LJS, burger king, mac, i rem. we dont go KFC cos Q doesnt like it. loll! friends friends friends..
i miss everything.

[LYN BUIN]

[BENNY]
[BENSON]
[CHAD]
[CHERYL]
[DENISE]
[EDWINA]
[JACQUELINE]
[JASLINE]
[JESSIN]
[KELLY]
[LYNETTE]
[MICHELLE]
[SABRINA LEE]
[SABRINA LAU]
[SAMANTHA]
[SIYUAN]
[SOCKHUI]
[WANLENG]