Sunday, April 26, 2009
2:49 PM
its raining! i dislike rainy days unless i'm slping. i was reading my achives haha. my goodness! some things tt happened, they just seem like yrst stuff. i miss so many things and so many people. i miss being happy. haha its not that i'm not happy, its just that i'm not SO happy anymore. dont ask me why because i dont know also. haha!
probably my life is not so carefree anymore?
there are many things that i wanna do but i cannot do due to some reasons?
money not enough?
or rather, i still cant find something that i like to do?
i think i needa pause for awhile. i feel i've been working and not enjoying at all. nahh i dont like it this way. haha! its so not me and its not asif i really love this job. if i love it, i really dont mind spending hours and hours working on it like some people who loves music, they really can spend more than normal working hours working on their pieces and whatever that they need to complete & feel superrrrrrrrrr satisfied after that.
i want back the days i spent with all my friends. i want to have fun. i'm sick, so sick of feeling so lost.
Monday, April 20, 2009
10:43 PM
wow! long time since I log in here ya! haha:x seriously its just because I cant speak to anyone about how i'm feeling now tts why I'm here.
I know its not a big thing compared to many other people out there. But I am not happy. I worked for almost a year but I feel like *$%)(#$%. I still cant think of a job that I might like. Urghhh!
I know I am not giving my best. I feel I am not ready yet. I still got alot alot to learn. Why is it that money is so f***ing impt. Seriously, I am sick of seeing pple starving just because they got no money. Sick of seeing pple quarrel over money. Sick of myself worrying about my future because I still cant find the purpose of me living. Sick of myself wanting to study just because i NEED the certificate. Sick of so many things. At least if I have a job which pays me well, probably I will go work willingly. haha. shit.
I know nobody likes to work. I know but whatever la. Freaking sian. I just dont wanna be like this.